Direction & Decisions
Values Based Decision Making
There are however two major hurdles that we have to face in achieving what we desire:
1. Most of us were never taught how to make decisions that bring us what we want.
2. We have consciously or subconsciously allowed others to design our lives to bring other people what they want.
FOR MOST OF US, we reach a point in life where WE:
- are not clear on our direction;
- have not defined what our priorities are;
- have difficulty saying no; and
- were never taught how to make clear decisions.
Through over 6 weeks you will inventory your life, family or business, explore your direction and build a filter through which all decision and actions must pass. The result is a ruthless clarity of vision that when used creates the business, family or life you've always wanted.
This ruthless clarity of vision when used creates the business, family or life that you want. Any thing, person, action or decision that works towards your goals, stays. Anything else gets filtered out or changed to ensure the decision serves you the best it can.
The problem is that most of those goals are provided by others - our parents, or friends, what we see on public advertising, social media, and in the culture around us. These shape our ideas about what we think we should have, be or do. And yet… we’re never told two fundamental truths:
If someone else gives you a goal, it’s for their benefit and not yours.
It's not the goals themselves, but a state of being behind the goals that we seek.
Yet once a month I have a client that tells me, "We want a farm!" When I inquire further into this 'want' I learn that the quality of life the couple, individual or group is seeking isn't the farm itself but specific elements of a desire quality of life, for example:
- We live close to nature.
- Our children grow up in a non-toxic environment.
- We have access to nutrient dense food.
- We work with natural cycles and rhythm.
- We produce our food.
It's our conditioning and training that says, to have the above statements be true a 'farm' is the only way. Examining 'access nutrient dense food' as an example, we can see that farming, or owning a farm, isn't necessary. It’s one way to get to the goal - but it’s not the only way - and it’s usually not the way for majority of people.
Here are two other examples, from my own clients. The first, let's call her Joy, was anything but. She put all her energies into a project that didn't work. She associated her sense of self worth with the goal and when it didn't happen, she spiralled into a dark depression for a year.
Do you want to joyfully say no?
Do you want to enjoy the process of making a decision?
Do you want to be clear on the priorities of your business and life?
When the flow of life rushes past your hands do you have the presence of mind to know what to catch and what to let joyfully through your fingers?
In other words, it’s the state of being - how we feel, what our lives include (or exclude), how we interact with the world - that rarely gets articulated, spoken of, discussed or even understand -- and it’s certainly almost never written down. Yet it’s this state of being behind a goal that actually fuels our desires to pursue that goal in the first place.
I'll give you an example...
The Farm: Goal or Diversion?
We can access quality nutrient dense food through a number of methods: from growing our own, by joining a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture) or local co-operative, buying in bulk buying or even dumpster diving. The result will be the same: quality nutrient dense food. None of that means that you actually have to own a farm or even farm as an occupation.
The second, Jerome, was working on a goal for 3 years, achieved it, and yet felt inexplicably empty.
For any tangible goal, there is an underlying quality of life that we desire. If we move towards that goal without examining the 'why', chances are once we achieve it or don't it, we may feel hollow, empty or unsatisfied with the result. But why?
Like the clients above, many of us end up outsourcing our sense of self worth to the achievement of a goal, rather than investing in the time and work to understand how we want to feel, interact, and be - our desired state of being - and allowing our goals to support reaching that state.
How do you stop spinning the wheel of goal after goal after goal yet still live a satisfying life?
How do you live a life that you design, versus assuming the priorities or goals set by others?
Clarify your Values.
Make decisions with your Values
Live your Values
When you develop awareness of your life, explore what your priorities are and use them as a filter to allow or exclude decisions, actions and people - only then do you really begin to live your values. Living your life on your terms.
Over 6 weeks, I’ll help you build your Holistic Life Context one module at a time. With a hour long one-on-one call per week, we review each module, ensuring that you understand each layer. This builds the filter that will help you navigate any decision, based on your desired quality of life and state of being.
Not just financially focused, we start with an inventory of your true wealth. using the 8 forms of capital, we accurately inventory all of the wealth you possess - from financial and material capital that the bank sees, to the social and cultural wealth that we experience personally, in our relationships with family and community.
Using this foundational information, we explore the current purpose of your life or business and build outwards to discover and clarify the specific qualities of life that you're seeking.
With a complete context in hand, we test decisions together so you have practice using your newly formed filter.
Values Based Decision Making Online Course
You can work through Values Based Decision Making on your own through the DIY version of the course, with a group cohort or one on one with me.
The work will still take 6 weeks and you'll move through the material just as if you're working with me. If working one-on-one isn't a good fit, this self-paced course might be right for you.
The online option is best for those that are highly motivated and can work without support.
Keep in mind, whether you go one-on-one or online, that either way its hard work: the questions asked are, as one student in their late 50's put it, "the hardest questions I've asked myself since I was 14".
But, as in farming, relationships, or any other challenging and ultimately rewarding endeavour, the payoff is equal to the work you put in. And yes - even if you’re unsure - I’m confident you can put the work in. If you’ve gotten this far, you’re ready.
Single Decision Session
Sometimes there's an issue that pops up. An opportunity, a threat, a decision that needs your attention. It's times like these that it helps to have someone to help navigate the decision with you.
While Values Based Decision Making is a process that allows you to make better decisions on your own, if you don't have the time to build your context or need a decision right away a Single Decision Session might be right for you.
Over the past decade I've worked with decisions like moving across the country, purchasing a $1,000,000+ property, changing jobs, moving to a different country or beginning a new job. This session includes you (and those who are involved with the decision) answering a few pre-session questions and then us via video conference or on the phone working through the testing question to discover where the decision works with and against your values.
Here's what a few previous clients had to say about Single Decision Sessions:
Ready to design your life?
If you want to find out more drop me a line and we can see if we're a good fit to work together.